Why You Need To Get a Gratitude-Generosity Habit

Last week I chose to dust off my lapsed daily gratitude and positivity practice. Read about it here and learn how you too can Brew Your Unique Blend of Positivity in a Jar.

You might well be asking, “how is it going?”

Every morning, I follow the steps by step guide to adding positivity notes to my jar.

The sensation is like returning to the gym after months of absence. My mind knows the benefits whilst my (gratitude) muscles protest from lack of regular exercise.

I made a promise to stick to my daily routine. And I am going to keep my word.Action tells the truth. No turning back now.

Every morning write down 3 things you are grateful for.

Gratitude Alone Isn’t Enough.

When Fortune is showering you with opportunities, it is easy to practice gratitude. It is the safe and comfortable place from which hone a positive habit.  But unless you are tested, you will not know now strong you have become.

Cultivating a gratitude attitude and daily practice when your life is free-falling in a downward spiral is tough. In the worst of times, dogged determination and persistence despite the challenges builds resilience.

“Resilience is the strength and speed of our response to adversity, and we can build it. It isn’t about having a backbone. It’s about strengthening the muscles around our backbone.”

If you make it through adversity, you will never be the same.

In September 2017, luckily and by the grace of a higher power, my home island Antigua, escaped the worst of hurricane Irma’s destructive trail through the Caribbean.

Grateful seems an inadequate word; but is the best I could muster under the circumstances.

However, many friends and clients in the region did not fare so well. Planned projects and confirmed work were reduced to nothing or an uncertain future.It was a terrible and sobering experience – the kind that puts your courage to the test and asks BIG questions of your tenacity and adaptability.

• Are you able to pivot and change course when carefully laid plans go awry?

• Could you thrive when things go wrong?

What you are willing and able to do depends on mindset you built before things took a turn for the worse. You can strengthen your resilience in the face of adversity by embracing two opposing mindsets and behaviours. Add powerful paradoxes to your daily gratitude exercise to speed your bounce-back capability.

Strengthen your resilience in the face of adversity by embracing two opposing mindsets and behaviours

Turn this daily practice into a positive habit worth keeping.

Simultaneously take stock of your blessings every day as well as counting your positive contributions to other people’s lives. Be generous and giving. Actively look for ways to elevate others, without looking for compensation.

Genuine acts of generosity set the giver free from the paralyzing grip of scarceness, fears of insufficiency.

“The secret to getting more is to give more […] When you have an opportunity to get versus give, go ahead and give.” Jeff Goins

"It’s understandable that generosity creates trust, but also worth noting that trust is required to provide generosity" Seth Godin

When you simultaneously practice giving and receiving with positive intent, you leverage that tension to fuel greater connection and growth for yourself and others.

As I explored this idea, more curious paradoxes kept popping up.

Are you a giver or a taker?

I followed clues down the rabbit hole, and they led me to Adam Grant’s work on this subject, 'Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success'

Gratitude can be considered more passive when compared to focusing on the impact you make when actively helping others. When you work this passive-active paradox into a conscious mindset and daily practice you will build a powerful positive habit that can motivate you to overcome set-backs and chart a course to meaningful success.

Catherine Clifford unpacks Adam Grant’s work in this area in her article ‘Resilience is the secret to success. Here are 2 ways to improve yours’.

Clifford writes: Grant references a study he worked on that had two groups of employees keep journals. One group of workers wrote down what they were grateful for each day. The other wrote down three contributions they made to others each day.

"What we found was that attending to gratitude made people happier. It certainly made them more satisfied with their jobs. It didn't affect their resilience though," says Grant. "What really boosted resilience was focusing not on contributions received from other people but rather contributions given to other people,"says Grant.

Consciously embracing the discipline of gratitude and generosity, giving and taking – particularly in tough times is not typical. For most folks under pressure, the tendency is to slip into a dangerous scarcity, hoarding mindset that can hold you back from achieving the life and healthy relationships you want.

I challenge you to power up your daily gratitude practice with paradoxes today.

• Every morning write down 3 things you are grateful for.

• At the end of the day write 3 ways you have generously (positively) contributed to others.

• Add them to your jar and super charge your positivity with a gratitude–generosity habit.

Let me know how you get on.

If you’re like me, you’ll need to continually revisit these lessons to stay motivated and on track.

On my deep-dive reading list

‘Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy’, by Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant‘

Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success’, by Adam Grant